Flying is uptight with strains mostly for the flight attendants who have seen more than their fair share on things. The sights they have witnessed can make anyone wince. Being cooped up for hours with a diverse group of people – with fluctuating habits – is not an easy task. Tempers fly, babies cry. And more shit goes down than one hopes for.
Take a look:
#1. Letting toddlers and small children cry
Airlines would give anything to have kids-free zone as an item on their hassle-free-flying-checklist. Children throwing tantrums is not a pleasant sight anyway but the nonstop crying can easily get dragged on for hours. Parents who not only fail to control children but encourage these tantrums as cute is the bane of everyone’s life on a flight.
#2. Flying tempers
The news has been littered with incidents of flight attendants trying to confine troublesome passengers. From fainting to throwing tantrums, from hurling ‘lucky’ coins at the plane’s wing to brawling with co-passengers, the stewards and stewardesses have seen it all.
#3. Misusing overhead bins
Passenger arrives on time. He boards in a disciplined manner, finds his seat punctually, and proceeds to use his allotted overhead bin to stock his cabin baggage. As he takes his seat, another passenger follows, stuffs his belongings in a disorderly fashion in a space that’s not even his, and proceeds to sit 10 rows away. Cue eyeroll, because we’ve all seen it.
#4. Being indecisive on what to drink
At 30,000 feet, you would expect a passenger to behave himself. However, at that height, annoyance assumes new height. For some, it’s perfectly okay to bell the flight attendant and then hog their time with never-ending indecisiveness on what to drink. Would you like a Diet Coke that froths more bubbles in a pressurised cabin or alcohol that hits you with twice the intensity? No, please take your time because we will be flying forever.
#5. Leaving trash in the seat back-pocket
Dirty diapers, clipped toenails, used tissues – you name it and it’s there, stinking up the whole cabin. And if it’s India, be very sure to find spit tobacco too. Passengers will gladly put their trash anywhere but the trash. Flight attendants must frequently empty the seat back-pockets of their garbage because someone must clean the cr*p left behind by messy people.
#6. Keeping the headphones on while ordering drinks
Really? Yes, really. Passenger bells the flight attendant and orders the drink (after much deliberation, of course). The flight attendant stares back, clearly offended. Why, oh why, can’t people unplug their earphones while ordering drinks? Do you know how loud you are? Stop screaming!
#7. Walking inside the plane barefoot
Smelly feet, smelly feet, why are they parading you? Smelly feet, smelly feet, it’s not your fault. The need to remove their shoes and walk around the plane as if it’s their living room only evokes one response from flight attendants – ‘Ewww!’
#8. Putting the feet up on other passenger’s armrest
Passengers who do this have a special place reserved in hell. Do not put your feet up on my armrest, you moron. Keep it on the floor! People don’t shell out thousands to air-travel with smelly feet. And even if they don’t smell, the unsightly sight is enough to ram that elbow in the soles.
#9. Poking the flight attendant
How rude! Passengers who poke flight attendants or tug at their dress to grab their attention need a masterclass in basic etiquette. There’s a perfectly placed button overhead for you to press. Use it and use it wisely. Don’t go tugging at a flight attendant’s dress like a 5-year-old on sugar rush who just won’t stop at fifty candies.
#10. Using the bathroom just before landing
It’s as if the bladder and the brain conspire together to make life difficult for the flight attendants. The pilot just made a landing announcement. You had hours to go to the washroom to do your business. Why is it that the moment you are asked to belt up and sit straight is when you urge to relieve yourself? Why?